Love Your Wife: A Command, Not An Advice

love your wife

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"Husband, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it." Eph 5:25

Many homes are breaking apart today (even though both husband and wife are still living together) simply because many husbands are not obeying God as far as loving their wives is concerned.

"Husbands, love your wives…" This statement is a command, not an advice. The Bible did not say we should love our wives when they are kind and nice to us. We are not even commanded to love them when they prepare good food for us or if they look attractive.

The biblical injunction is firm and rigid; absolutely straight to the point. Whether she respects you or not, the Bible commands that you should love her. Even if your home is presently in a turmoil (because there is no love between you and your wife) if you are willing to obey God now, you will surely see the difference.

But what does God actually mean by saying we should "love" our wives? He means that we must be unconditionally, sincerely, intentionally, and genuinely kind, good, patient, peaceful, honest, temperate, and humble with them and be joyful for them.

Sir, is your love for your wife unconditional, sincere, intentional and genuine? Please, do permit me to disturb your conscience a little bit… because a lack of understanding of what this "love" actually means is what is breaking up most homes. We're not to even just love our wives. There is a standard by which we must love them.

"Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church…"

The standard of our love for the wife God has graciously given to each of us must match the love Jesus has for His church such that He laid His life down to redeem the Church.

Sir, can you DIE for your wife? If you can't, then you were not fit to marry her in the first place.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it."

If your love for her is not like this, how won't it be easy to clothe and feed yourself first before you ever remember her? How won't you be hiding money under the bed and in other hiding places in your bedroom?

And how do you expect God to bless the works of your hands, seeing that you are divorced, even though you still sleep on the same bed or still wear the same clothes? (Because divorce means “divided voice and views”).

"And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the Church. He gave up His life for her." (NLT)

Did you notice how it is translated in NLT?

"…you husbands MUST love your wives…" Can this be an advice? Is not clear that it is an irrevocable order carrying benefits or consequences?

You must be kind and good to her UNCONDITIONALLY. You must be patient, peaceful, honest and temperate with her with no conditions attached. You must learn unconditional humility.

Jesus showed us His love. He died for the Church when we were "unlovely". He died for us when we were still rebels!

"Christ died for us while we were still weak people. We were living against God, but at the right time, Christ died for us." Rom 5:5 (ERV)

Jesus did not consider your state and my state when He delivered us from sin and the devil. Why do you continue to demand that until your wife respects you, you will not show her more love?

Our love for our wives must also be SINCERE. That means our love must be true…you must truly love her. Let it never be that you are just telling her sweet words that are not coming from your heart…Don't forget God is seeing you.

You cannot mistreat her (by lying that you love her) and go scot-free. God will surely punish such an action.

"Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord's alter with tears, weeping and groaning because He pays no attention to your offerings, and He doesn't accept them with pleasure. You cry out. "Why has the Lord abandoned us?" I'll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made to each other when you were young. But you have been disloyal to her though she remained your faithful companion, the wife of your marriage vows.

Didn't the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does He want? Godly children from your union. So guard yourself; remain loyal to your wife". Mal. 2: 13-16 (NLT)

That is not all. Your love has to be INTENTIONAL… just the same way you deliberately get her angry, you must now prepare to always make her happy intentionally. Do things she doesn't expect you to do and you will see her love for you rekindling afresh. Don't leave her in the kitchen while you sit down in the sitting room reading papers and watching TV. How many hours have you spent together?

You both have been out all day, can't you seize the "kitchen" opportunity to fortify communication and intense love between yourselves?

Purpose to always make her joyful. Don't say it is not possible – it is! Never transfer the economic pressure you are facing on her… Never shout at your wife, no matter what happens. A wife will honour, revere and respect a man who has so much control over himself.

Finally, learn to show GENUINE love. Your love must not be fake, it must be real. Your eyes must not be straying after any other lady in skirt. If your wife is not really looking attractive to you, pray to God to make her the most beautiful woman in your world and you will be surprised to discover that God is eager to quickly answer this type of prayer.

We are commanded to love our wives. Do you love the woman in your life?


This article is an excerpt from “No Longer Two” category in the tracts series. Discover the seven other categories in this tract series and how you can register to receive them for free every month….by clicking here.




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